Driving in a City

And he tried to relax while driving, using his highway autopilot. But New Jersey Governor Chris Christie, who- now weighed seven hundred pounds, and resided in one of the exclusive paid pleasure vats located underneath Washington DC, suspended in embryonic fluid provided by The Planned Parenthood Corporation™, in a constant state of bliss, sharing a dual-pod pleasure unit with Bill DeBlasio, yes governor Chris Christie had redesigned all the roads in New Jersey into a series of one-mile highways. So no relaxation was possible, as every 30seconds or so you have to kick off the highway auto-pilot and manually merge onto the next one-mile highway. His only reprieve was when in the traffic, during one of the monthly locust rainstorms, the insect compressor on the roof of his Amazon-Car would capture these precious morsels of locusts and crush them down, filtering the paste through the Bezos Sauce-Jubilator and into a straw that fed directly into his mouth. His whole commute brightened by the anticipation of getting home to see his wife’s happy face when he tells her about that day's convenient food savings, his wife, smiling lovingly, immediately deposits the equivalent funds into an S&P Roth IRA.